It's been a while since I shared my thoughts in this blog. Part of the reason is that I thought nobody would ever connect with my writing. To my surprise, the blog is gaining popularity across various countries. Every day, there are readers by the hundreds visiting various articles. Another reason is that I had been living in isolation since I was diagnosed with the dreaded illness, bipolar affective disorder, and I kinda like it.
To those who are experiencing such calamity, it is no surprise to you that this illness is a lifelong condition. During the lowest ebb of my life, that sounded like a death sentence. Nowadays, that doesn't seem so bad. What it means is I will have to be on medication for the rest of my life.
Initially, it was bad. Different people have different brain chemistry. So it takes different medications to suit the individuals. I did convince my doctor to do away with the meds. Unfortunately, I relapsed several times. So now I am permanently on Invega, Lithium, and Seroquel. They keep the psychosis at bay, but since these are dopamine antagonists, I am pretty much sedated during most days. I sleep a lot too. somewhere between 10-12 hours a day.
I do exercise to fight the somnambulating effect. At least once a week, my wife and I will go to Kuala Lumpur for the Sunday car-free walk along with the other walkers, runners, and bikers, completing the 5 km or 7 km walk on alternate weeks.
This year is my twenty-seventh year as a mental health patient. Things are moving in the right direction. My wife retired a few years back from the teaching profession, and my kids are all grown up and earning decent incomes. As for me, I am in the pursuit of the athlete4life lifestyle. Life is good. We keep things simple and to a minimum. By doing so, we live a debt-free life and occasionally travel abroad for vacation.
Things happen for a good reason. To anchor the point, I share with you this short parable;
The King and the Hidden Mercy
Long ago there lived a mighty king whose kingdom stretched from the mountains to the sea. His closest companion was an elderly advisor, a dervish-like man whose eyes seemed always fixed on something beyond the visible world.
Whenever anything happened, whether joyful or painful, the advisor would bow his head and say:
"Majesty, everything happens for a good reason. Trust the wisdom of Allah."
The king appreciated the old man, though at times the phrase irritated him.
One spring morning, while practicing archery, the king's horse startled. The bowstring snapped and sliced deeply into the king's thumb.
Blood flowed everywhere.
The royal physicians rushed to attend him.
The king shouted in pain:
"Look at this! My thumb is ruined!"
The advisor calmly examined the wound and replied:
"Your Majesty, everything happens for a good reason."
The king's face darkened.
"A good reason? I am injured!"
But the advisor merely smiled.
The king became furious.
"Take him away! Let him spend a month in prison and contemplate his good reasons."
The guards seized the advisor.
As he was led away, he bowed and said:
"Even this happens for a good reason."
The king nearly exploded with anger.
Several weeks later the king rode alone into a distant forest.
While pursuing a magnificent stag, he became separated from his hunting party.
As evening approached, a tribe of fierce warriors surrounded him.
They captured him and carried him to their village.
The king soon learned that they were preparing a sacred sacrifice.
Their custom required a healthy, perfect human offering.
The king trembled as they tied him to a stone altar.
The tribal priest approached with a ceremonial blade.
Then he stopped.
He noticed the king's injured thumb.
The priest gasped.
"This man is imperfect."
The warriors murmured among themselves.
"Our law forbids offering a blemished sacrifice."
Immediately they untied the king and released him.
The king rode home through the night.
As dawn broke, he suddenly remembered the words of his advisor.
"Everything happens for a good reason."
For the first time he understood.
The injury that had seemed a curse had saved his life.
The king hurried to the prison.
He personally unlocked the cell door.
The old advisor stood and smiled.
The king embraced him.
"My friend, forgive me. You were right. Had I not injured my thumb, I would have died."
The advisor nodded.
"Yes, Majesty. Allah's wisdom often wears the disguise of misfortune."
The king then asked:
"But tell me this. What good reason was there for your imprisonment? Surely that was an injustice."
The old man laughed softly.
"Majesty, if you had not imprisoned me, I would have accompanied you on the hunt."
The king stared.
The advisor continued:
"You had an injured thumb, so they would not sacrifice you. But I have all my fingers."
The two men looked at each other.
Then both burst into laughter.
The Sufis add one final teaching to the story.
The king believed he could see only one step ahead.
The advisor trusted the One who sees the entire road.
What appeared to be loss became protection.
What appeared to be injustice became salvation.
What appeared to be imprisonment became freedom.
And so the dervishes say:
"The carpet is beautiful only to the one who sees it from above.
From underneath, all you can see are knots."
The king saw knots.
The advisor trusted the Weaver.
And perhaps that is why he could always say:
"Everything happens for a good reason."
