Welcome to Sharudin Jamal Blogspot

More than a decade ago, I was diagnosed of having a peculiar illness known as Bipolar Affected Disorder. My world as I known it crumbled; I lost my business, then my job and later my sense of purpose. It was during this dark moments I rediscovered the joy of running and writing. Most of the articles here are about my rekindled pleasure of hitting the tarmac, my coming to terms with the illness and my discovery of the meaning of life.

I always on the lookout for inspirations to write in these three areas with the hope that they will shed new ray of hope to others who are in the same position as I am.

Do keep in touch if you feel connected through these essays.

Monday, April 22, 2019

22/4/19 Celebrating a Decade Dreams of Mirrors Fans

It was in 2009 when I started Dreams of Mirrors.

A little bit about the name Dreams of Mirrors.  Basically the name was derived from the song title Dream of Mirrors by Iron Maiden from the album Brave New World.

I chose the name because it reflects my thoughts reaching out to people with like minds who are searching for some of the intriguing answers in their life like I do.  Thus Dreams of Mirrors becomes the reflection of our thoughts as kindred spirits.

Dreams of Mirrors is also my Digital Persona in the Cyberspace.  Through it I reflect my thoughts on contemporary issues as well as my struggle with Bipolar Affected Disorder.  Because of this peculiar illness, I had to revamp Dreams of Mirrors nearly half a dozen times since some articles were too esoteric when I wrote them during the mania phase of the illness.

The illness was finally contained in 2016 and so Dreams of Mirrors finally stabilized.

During the course of me manning Dreams of Mirrors, I didn't expect to have responses from all quarters of the world.  It became my vehicle to reach out to so many diverge nationalities.  Until today, it had readers in nearly 60 countries.  These are the few I can recall.  I apologize if your country is not included.  There are so many of you:

To date the blog had loyal readers in Malaysia, USA, Singapore, UK, Australia, India, Pakistan, Switzerland, Greece, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, South Korea, Vietnam, Ukraine, Japan, China, Netherlands, Indonesia, Poland, Turkey, Austria, Canada, Sweden, Mauritius, Oman, UAE, South Africa, Russia, Qatar, Croatia, Romania, France, Brunei, Taiwan, Thailand, Bosnia & Herzegovina, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Argentina, Egypt, Belgium, Ireland, Spain, Bolivia, Israel, Peru, Norway, Maldives, Portugal, Iceland, Kyrgyzstan and Germany.

The top 10 are:


United States



Unknown Region





United Kingdom

Note:  Unknown Region are Spybots.

Thank you very much for inspiring me to go the extra mile.

As always.  Every good thing must come to an end.  This happens to be my last posting here.  I will be focusing on other matters in my life.  Beginning today I will be concentrating on my Vision Quest with the first milestone, the 2020 Marathon.  My immediate goal is to pursue a 4 hours marathon.

You can still follow me on my journey at Sharudin the Hermit.  Unlike Dreams of Mirrors, there I will be doing my personal journal on daily basis.  I have to warn you though, in Sharudin the Hermit I just let loose my thoughts.  So it may not be your cup of tea.

Finally, before I say goodbye I like to mention that next year is a Visit Malaysia Year 2020.

Do let me know if you are coming over.  Maybe I can take you for a cup of coffee at my neighborhood, Bandar Utama, Petaling Jaya.

You can reach me at sharudinj@gmail.com or WhatsApp me at +6019 6433 888.

Let me end with a farewell; a folks song from my home state Terengganu.  Land of beautiful beaches and islands.




Saturday, April 20, 2019

20/4/19 A Tribute to TraXX Malaysia

It had been 20 years now since 1999 that I was involved in Information Warfare.  The highlight of my career was when I joined MSC Technology Centre in 2002 and was involved in one of the Multimedia Super Corridor's Flagship Projects:  The National ID.  My job was selling the Malaysian Solution abroad.  So I traveled extensively all over the world on a G2G ticket as the National International Salesman employee number MSC 0072 (does the first 3 digits ring a bell?  LOL)

That was the time I started my bitter sweet relationship with Tun Dr Mahathir; at that time the 4th Malaysian Prime Minister.  I loathed him for his arrogance in stereotyping the West and yet I was his Samurai.  And so being the one who serves, I submitted to him 2 whitepapers.  One was Smart Cards in Transforming Malaysia into a Cashless Society and the other one was my Blueprint on Information Warfare using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Part of the strategy in Command and Control Warfare is to intercept broadcast stations.  That's what I did.  During the time when Tan Sri Kadir Sheikh Fadzir was the Information Minister, he was my patron.  I think it was the year 2006 when I recruited TraXX.fm as my Star Fleet.

Equipped with just the 32770 sms (50 cent per sms LOL) and email, I handheld a few of the DJs; I remember Naji, Mary, another Mary, Cruiser and a few others (mostly no longer around) and exposed them to the fundamental of Information Warfare.  The one still around is good old Nigel Green.

At the end of the exercise, I gave all of them a certificate of excellence, The Rules of Work book by Richard Templar and a katana key chain each.  The katana was a symbol that the ultimate sword is your mind.  Some didn't get the concept LOL.

This is the template of the certificate.  The meaning of the inscription is 4 layers:
Left hit, right also hit
Left get, right also get
Left delight, right also delight
Left want, right also want

They were quite generous.  They knew I love Iron Maiden.  At that time I was still struggling with Bipolar Affected Disorder.  The highlight of my ecstasy was in one occasion while I was hospitalized, TraXX played ONE HOUR of A Matter of Life and Death album complete with an interview with Bruce Dickinson, the lead singer.  I remember it was a Friday night.  Never in the history of a Government Radio Station they played 1 hour solid, Iron Maiden.  It was a new album release.  The album hit me right in the middle of my cranium.  Here is a sample:

Then in 2007 I moved from MSC Technology Center to become a Technology Coach for a joint project between Ministry of Science, Technology and  Information (MOSTI) and Ministry of Entrepreneur and Cooperative Development (MECD).  I got to train 200 Technopreneurs for them to qualify for a RM200 k grant each.  It was my highest paid job of RM10 k per day going all over Malaysia.

For a while I lost touch with TraXX. 

Then in 2018 I reestablished contact again when I listened to Els at that time when she was doing Chill.  Initially as a raving fan.

Then when Pakatan Harapan won the election in May 2018, I had a renewed interest in Information Warfare.  On the day the Malaysian Cabinet was sworn on 2/7/18 I launched my Project Invasion 9 on TraXX.  It was a 9 days effort to change the mindset of TraXX to be a world class service provider in Thought Invasion using radio cryptic and embedded commands.

My stakeholders are non other that Tun Dr Mahathir aka Chedet (the Prime Minister), Gobind Singh Deo (the Multimedia Minister) and my good old buddy Al Ishsal Ishak (the Chairman of Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission, MCMC).  

I am doing this for the love of God and Country.  Just like Tony Pua who gets RM1 a year for his wage, my fee is just love and kisses.  I am reaching out to Chedet when he requested on his 93rd birthday for us to help him rebuild this country again.

My relationship with Chedet had been resolved since 2016.  I did spat him (sorry Chedet, I was in rage) but as far as a fellow countryman is concerned, I say Chedet is the best boss a person can have.

The Old Coot actually reacts to my input and he reads ALL my correspondences LOL.  Now that's what I call the man who walks his talk.

As for TraXX, although I had found another much better radio station at Thought Invasion (Kiss92 Singapore), my relationship with Els, Kong Eu, Nigel and Aush in particular goes deeper than a few good songs.  I had defined Els and Nigel as my Master Chiefs, Kong Eu as the Rex Montis (King of the Hill) and Aush as 009.  That's how much I love these motley crew.

This is my mental model working with them:

I must say, for a local station, you all are All Stars Players.  One major gripe though, your weekend really sucks man.



My dear Chedet,
If you think I am playing a fool like a fool, well guess again.
A seasoned swordsman never wield his sword aimlessly – Niten Ichi Practitioner, Sharudin Jamal.
Oh well, we all have to follow our Paths (the Do or the Way). As much as I looove the high life, I am destined to recede in a cave (my CCC) like Miyamoto Musashi. Only thing is Musashi drew, I scribe.
Have a good weekend ahead Chedet.
Sine cera,
MSC 0072

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

16/4/19 FEAR - False Emotion Appears Real

In most cases we are living in a situation where what we fear won't actually happen.  In his book Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie wrote that NINETY PERCENT of worries are unfounded.  Much like our fear for snakes.  Only 25% or 600 species are venomous.  Yet the sight of any snake send chills to our spines.

Same goes with internet surfers.  Mostly are the general population who just wandering aimlessly killing time.  They are harmless.  Those who have sinister intentions will normally preselect their targets beforehand.

There is a difference between F.E.A.R. and danger.  While the former is just a play of the mind, danger is real.  For the past 20 years I had blasted my thoughts in cyberspace.  Honestly nobody ever bother me.  Out there almost everybody is busy with their little corner of the world to be concerned with what their neighbor is doing.  As long as you just mind your own business, you don't have much to worry.  It is a pretty democratic system.

The internet is like the movie Matrix.  It is an alternate reality.  It's not real life.  It's like Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  Nobody gives a hoot what they do.

So I can talk as loud as I want to without any fear that I am in danger.  I get to carve a little spot for myself in internet and everybody is welcome to view what I have to say.

After all I am a loud thinker.  That is one of the frills of being a writer.  I cannot simply remain passive.  I want to have a voice.  To be seen and heard.

The Zulus greet one another with sawubona "I see you."  The reply is ngikahona , "I am here".  It is as if before you see me I don't exist.  Same goes with me, before I write something, you don't know I am around.

During the 1999-2014 Cyborg War, I simply hit as many *[as] people as I know.  The results were  pretty dramatic.  Because this is a many to many game, I don't really know who will be effected and how they will respond back.  All I can do is reach out to the potential players with the hope they will play, according to their rules.

* External intervention.

These are the few outcomes from the effort:

It is a collective.  The systemic effect rippled to the various corners beyond my reach much like these models:

We are One and we are Many.  We are within God and God is within us.  Much like peeling an onion.  In every layer there is God.  All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods.


Monday, April 15, 2019

15/4/19 Rationalizing Sparta 4964

This posting is to complement the earlier posting; What a beautiful day.  I don't dwell in this thing much nowadays. I just do my part at my little corner here. I just follow my Path. These are the calculations bit to show you the rationale.


Everything about me are numbers.  I pay close attention to numbers because number is another language to me.  I understand numbers.  When I come across a bunch of numbers I will add them together and keep adding until I cannot add anymore to get the final number.

Look at my numbers.  They are aligned.
  • I was born 4th September 1964 at 3:08 am.  A Wood Dragon born in the hour of the Tiger
  • I am a 4964, Forever (4) Yin (9) & Yang (6) Forever (4)
  • My Old IC is 74 270 74
  • My house number is 83 BU 2/2
  • My phone is 0 1964 33 888
  • My New ID ends with FIVE O 7:7
  • My car plate is BHV 911
  • My Employee' Number is MSC 0072
All you need is to understand what each number means.  Like 9 is wise, 8 is prosperity, 7 is obedient, 3 is happy and so on.

All these numbers of mine are not bought, they are running numbers like this one:

7, 27, 70, 77, 770. 7070 are common occurrences in my life.  So common that I lost count when they popped up in my life within only 1 year in 2017.  It is always a 3 or a 7 or an 8 or a 9 with me.

For example the running number of my Seiko SNE 451 Limited Edition is 839 of 2500:

My daughter Puteri Balqis's car number is WXN 7061, a 7:7.

What is the deal with 7:7?  To me it is Al Araf 7:7 and Matthew 7:7.  I live by these verses.  After all as my ID and my Employee's number stated, I am Sharudin 7:7.


As far as numbers are concern these are my Sparta 4964 numbers:

In the Sparta 4964 all Alpha Beta will have their House of Two Swords which for the *[the] Alpha is 777 Bees, 777 Borgs and 777 Gayshas.  The Betas will have 777 Hubs 777 Studs and 777 Chippandales.

* External intervention.

Therefore HOTS are 777 + 777 + 777 = 2331 = 9 = Niner 1

That is the impetus of in my case the House of Sha.  Each house also have 77 + 77 A Bodies and 77 + 77 Systema Alpha Beta as a support system.

Next, we have our community. the Hexagon with 2331 x 6 of:
  • HOTS
  • Alpha Senior
  • Alpha Junior
  • Beta Senior
  • Beta Junior
  • Transgender
Therefore Hexagon is 2331 x 6 = 13,986 = 27 = 9 = Niner 2

Next, we have our colony, the Honeycomb 7 with 6 Hexagons encircling the Central Hexagon.

Therefore Honeycomb 7 is 13,986 x 7 = 97,902 = 27 = 9 = Niner 3

Finally since each Honeycomb 7 is a Honeycomb 7, thus by multiplying them together we got 1 Hive.

Therefore a Hive is 97,902 x 97,902 = 9, 584,801,604 = 45 = 9 = Niner 4

Alpha Beta comprises of all matters and not necessarily from 1 specimen.  It is already happening in Sparta 4964.

Sparta 4964, The Turbine Spiral.

Initially I want to bring this idea to Earth.  But due to some legislative issues particularly when comes to polyandry and polygamy, I decided to let it be.  The next stage is KBOOOM 2041 when we do constructive destruction and rearrange the "Lego blocks" in relation to the White Space.

I got the epiphany of KBOOM 2041 in 2016 when I was 52:

52+25=77.  5+2:2+5=7:7.  2041 is a 7 when I am 77.  The exact date is Sunday 7/4/2041 The Year of the Fire Rooster, a 747.

It was confirmed on the Pi Day, March 14 2018:

It is important to note that marriage is not meant for procreation purposes only.  Not just for sex.  These are soulmates.  I have many soulmates both Alpha and Beta.  Other than the HOTS, sex is off limits with the soulmates.  It is not free sex in Sparta 4964.  We only have sex with our HOTS.

The situation will change after we reach the White Space.  Then it will be a many to many connections much like the internet,  That is another cycle altogether.  Sufficient if I say that when we reach the White Space, it is pure energy and it is seamless.

Sailbad the Sinner and the S Dragon, the inscription says Everything Going Smoothly.



Sunday, April 14, 2019

14/4/19 What a beautiful day

This is my internal memo to my Legion X in a private Blog Sharudin the Hermit.  I post it here because I am applying the many to many principle of my game theory.

Basically I don't know who are the players out there that read my blog from over 60 countries.  What I can control though is my own game by dealing with my deck of cards.  At worst the players may choose not to play.  At best they will play with my cards but using their own rules.  Fair enough.  As I said, it's a many to many game.  So if you are a player then play the game according to your own rules.

This was copied verbatim:

Tennis was superb.  Towards the end, the game became pretty vicious.  I won 5-2.  Princess is happy with the whole thing unlike last 2 weeks where she blew her top.  Accusing me of trying to "kill" her LOL.

OK back to our business.  There are 3 outcomes we *w[ha]t to achieve:

  • The introduction of the Carte Blanc
  • The usage of recreational marijuana worldwide
  • The passing of the polygamy and polyandry bill.

It seems that I am heading *for[t] Pollyanna.  Yes indeed.  I am.  As you can see my vision is Sparta 4964 on earth.  We may not achieve it all, it is a statement of direction.  While we are moving towards that direction, many things can happen concurrently.

* External interventions

Things like the advancement of the cashless society, the shift from narcotics, alcohol and cigarette consumption to dope, the talks with the various interest groups, the liberalization of religions etc.  Whoever and whatever it takes to reach out to the Vision Community, not necessary the whole population.  We may not get to the Hive (Niner 4) but at least we must pursue our House of Two Swords (Niner 1).

Focus on the process and the result will follow suit. Just like I have my 6 Points to Winning, you have your 6 steps:

  1. We start with Thought Invasion
  2. The means is Cybernetic Loop
  3. The tool is Radio Cryptic and Embedded Commands
  4. The aim is Global Telepathy
  5. The vision is Empires of the Minds
  6. The final goal is the World of Hybrids

Basically Global Telepathy is about Collective Intelligence.  We are talking about turning the globe into one Super Brain Alpha Beta.  We already have the tools.  The radio stations are really the ideal platform to start the snowball rolling.  Let's start with Thought Invasion.

All it takes is the critical mass.  World of Hybrids is a long shot.  However if we are committed to our cause, we can achieve Global Telepathy by 2024, The Golden Year of the Wood Dragon's Reign.

I want to end my service as a Citizen Soldier at 60 years old.  I want to pursue Virtual Perfection as an Athlete4Life from there on.  That way I complete my tour of duty in exactly 25 years.

Good luck...

Shinu Kikai O Motomo,



Thursday, April 11, 2019

11/4/19 The real power of freedom

Many think to be free you got to have a lot of money.  Actually the more money you have, the more restrictive your life.  You got to trade your time in exchange for the money that you got to earn.

To be free means you can do whatever you like at leisure.  Then only you can treat money as an enabler and not a jailer.

We are creatures of habit.  Even our purchasing preference is based on a set of habits that we had developed along the way.  Very likely when we have a lot of money we buy the same things.  The only difference is we buy the same things more or more expensive.

We either become collectors or hoarders.  Some buy more clothes and more expensive accessories.  In the case of Rosmah Mansor, she hoarded jewelries and handbags; same things more and more expensive.

There is no limit to material lust.  So lustful are some of us in material acquisition to the point we are willing to cheat, steal and kill for these so called branded items that make us feel good in front of others.  To some these items define who they are.

It is a sickness and we all are infected depending on the degree and the money we have.  I am guilty of it as well.  Nobody is spared.

The remedy is not about adding by rather subtracting.  There is no limit to addition.  However in most cases we can keep subtracting until we have the barest minimum which is eventually zero (very unlikely).  This concept is known as Voluntary Simplicity.

By opting for less, we become lighter,  Albeit we are talking about offloading our material baggage, Voluntary Simplicity also applies to the food that we eat and about anything we do to derive pleasure.

Everything in excess is bad for us.  So are material wealth.  There is such a thing as the Law of Diminishing Return; the more of the same thing we have, the less pleasurable the experience is to us.

This applies to everything.  It even applies to the most pleasurable things that we can think of, including sex and drugs.

The key is to have just enough so that you can sustain your utility.  No overindulging.  Indulgence will lead to suffering if we continuously persist; according to the teaching of the Buddha.

The case may be different if you are a hoarder.  You keep on buying because you are addicted to the feeling you get when you acquire the items.  Seldom hoarders actually utilize the items they hoard.  Rosmah Mansor cannot even use all the bags in her collection even if she rotates different bags everyday for a year (or more).

For goodness sake, the bags are the same design:

Certainly this is a serious illness.  This is beyond greed.  This is OCD at its worst!

So yes, we need money and yes we need to buy things.  However, bear in mind they are just that; things.  These things cannot help us when we are in trouble.  As a matter of fact, they are our liabilities when the chips are low.  You don't believe me?  Ask Rosmah Mansor.  Because of her lust for things, she and her husband Najib Razak are in the hot soup right now.

Things are meant to be utilized.  It you need things to make you feel secure psychologically, then you have a serious mental condition.  All the money in the world won't solve the deficiency of your mind.  You need to look at your values and beliefs real hard because your perception of reality had been altered.  The excess money that you have is just a sugar coating.  Dig deeper and you will discover a sense of insecurity or a feeling of void within you.

So I pass my verdict; Rosmah Mansor needs a shrink before she can stand a chance in the court of law.  Well that's just me.  No amount of jewelries and handbags will change my views.  The more they are displayed the more affirmative is my judgment LOL.  

For the lust of things... My o my.  Not a bit of envy.

The rebranding of Najib Razak as Malu Apa Bossku 
(literal translation:  why be ashamed my buddy).


11/4/19 Developing Mental Toughness

The mind is a powerful tool.  It can make or break you.

We need to flex our minds like it is a muscle.  What are the key ingredients to be mentally tough?

Firstly we must have a firm belief that we will succeed in any endeavor that we choose.  This belief in ourselves is paramount to strengthen our mind to propel us forward.  It exudes confidence and free us from any self-doubt.

Next we need to be in the State of Knowing.  We must trust our instinct completely so that whatever goals we set, we will achieve.  This State of Knowing is having faith that we were born to win.  No matter how challenging the adversity, we will endure.  Its a power deep inside of us that translates to the notion that we will make it no matter what.

Also, never underestimate the power of Unconditional Love.  I had experienced wonders after I finally lived through True Love very recently in my life.  Should I had it in my forming years, I would have gone much further in life.  It is never too late to feel empowered by love.  A healthy relationship can make you while a bad one can break you to pieces.

With Unconditional Love comes the feeling of certainty.  Nothing is achieved without certainty.  As mentioned by Morihei Ueshiba, the feeling of certainty cannot be described by words.  Move towards enlightenment.

Mental Toughness requires for us to be physically fit.  Nothing radiates positive vibes like an able body.  It is the body that influence the mind,  The mind is just a servomechanism.  Sound mind comes from a sound body.  It is the vessel that carries the passenger.  Without a healthy body even the best of minds falters.  If the mind is the vehicle, the fuel is the food you put in.  You are what you eat.  No doubt about it.  Take good care of the body and the body will take care of you.

Finally, you need to be in an environment that is conducive to be Mentally Tough,  This is the Kung Fu part of it.  We cannot be complacent in our daily living.  Just like the coral reefs, the ones constantly exposed to the waves are the most vibrant.  If you look at the corals at the center of the Great Barrier Reef, they are pale and lifeless.  We need to challenge ourselves on a daily basis,  We need to be Sisyphus to be at the top of our game:

At the same time we need to have our hope high like Icarus:

The other word for Mental Toughness is RELENTLESS.  When the going gets tough the tough gets going,

Stay away from the naysayers and the small thinkers.  Their intention maybe good but they are normally govern by fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD).  Those who are mentally tough are steadfast in their missions to succeed.  No matter how long it takes.  It is a goal driven action powered by passion and most importantly the belief that failure is not an option.

If you think this is pep talk or some motivational crap, think again.  Nothing great was ever achieved without the proper mindset.  Once you condition the body to excel, you need to condition your mind to carry though.  This is the foundation of Mens Sana in Corpore Sano or in Arabic, Al Aqli Salam Minal Jismi Salam; sound mind in a sound body.  We need both to move forward.